I can’t fathom why anyone wonders if white women, feminist-identified or not, can be trusted not to be racist

I don’t say that to be dismissive of people having hoped, or still wanting to hope, or still going ahead and hoping, that white women could be trusted not to be racist.  Nor do I say it to be dismissive of the right to demand an end to white supremacy, and to demand that anyone who supports it stop doing so.

I say what I say in this post’s title because I think that a person would have to be living in the privilege of not being effected negatively by white supremacy, to have not-noticed up to now to what extent white people, including white women who do or don’t identify as feminist, support white supremacy.  I am not trying to be unkind to you if you are surprised by it – I am suggesting that if you are surprised, it is a result of being in a luxurious position.

Being hurt by it, hoping for something different, seeing it all this time but trying to take people’s words for it in the hopes that you will not have that hope re-assaulted out of you – those are not the same things as being surprised.

Full disclosure – I know first hand that it is hard to confront people you like or love or even just know.  I know it is more comfortable and less frightening to either say nothing or to try and say something non-threatening, when you have a personal relationship with someone.  I know the urge to want to still say “but I still like you or support you and know that you are not all bad.”

I acknowledge the above just to say – I am not in a position to look down my nose and condemn white feminists who are supporting, and have previously supported, other openly racist white feminists.  I have not and do not consistently confront every white person in my life when he/she says things that are racist.  I do think I am in a position to make note of the fact that the lack of courage to confront what needs to be confronted in our friends or loved ones factually precludes us from being trustworthy people.  So it is unfair to then be offended or insulted or hurt or outraged or confused or anguished when it is noted, out loud, that we are not trusted by those who have no business trusting us in our untrustworthiness.  That’s all.